you, contrary to the customs of the circle in
which we move, for the purpose of inviting you
to express, in the frankest and most unreserved
manner, your opinion of my wife."

I glanced at Mrs. Tiddijohn. It was an
unlucky moment. She was rising on her elbow,
while an attendant sylph, or naiad .... It is
no matter, for I was already in a position to
confess, with all sincerity, that the wife of my
curious little friend was unquestionably a very
beautiful woman. It is easy to understand,
further, that the beauty that can vindicate itself
under such adverse conditions must be of no
mean order.

"' Gloriana!'" I thought. ".Come, she is
worthier of the name than that swearing, boxing,
iron-hearted masculine flirt upon whom Sidney's
poet-soul bestowed it."

She had resumed her recumbent position, and
I could see the colour timidly revisiting her
smooth fair cheek, as if it were not quite certain
of its tenure. Her large liquid dark-blue eyes
were fixed upon the hurrying clouds, and she
seemed indifferent even to the fact that an
object resembling a golden thirty-two-pound shot,
called, I am told, a " chignon," and carried at
the back of the head, had burst its cerements,
and hung, a glittering wave, across the arm of
the bench on which she reclined.

Mr. Tiddijohn was watching me with an ex-
pression of profound content.

"You are enchanted, sir," he said, at last.

"The spell is powerful, I must own. But,
excuse me, does not the lady at this instant
need—-"

"I dursn't—that is, I cannot approach her,"
said Mr. Tiddijohn. "I have this moment
received a warning glance—familiar to me—and
which I interpret thus: ' Keep your distance;
you have been smoking.' On atondong, as we
have yet half an hour to Cowes, I will, with your
permission, relate to you one of the most
remarkable stories you ever heard, and afterwards
present you to its heroine."

"I embrace both offers, sir," I replied, " and
this cigarette, whose flavour will not survive
its extinction above a minute, will not, I trust,
prevent my being admitted to the honour you
propose. Pray begin."

Mr. Tiddijohn placed himself in a comfortable
position, commanding a good view of his wife,
and, in well-chosen language, excepting when,
for a moment or two, he became excited by the
theme, favoured me with the following narrative.

"Born, sir," commenced Mr. Tiddijohn, " in
Quantock-street, Simmery-axe, transferred at an
early age, about ten months, to the ancient feudal
residence of the Dooks of Brandon in Humpshire,
I passed my sunny childhood among the
streams and woodlands of that beautiful
domain."

"You are connected with the family?" I
asked.

"I am, sir," replied Mr. Tiddijohn, calmly;
"my mother was wife of the duke's under
butler. She subsequently became housekeeper.
His grace, as all the world is aware, resided
principally in a modest lodging in Paris, and my
mother's chief duties, for many years, consisted
in admitting little groups of people (who thought
they were taking pleasure) at one end of the
picture-corridors for sixpence apiece, and
dismissing them peremptorily at the other, for a
shilling.

"My excellent mother found this occupation
so profitable, that she conceived the idea of
bringing me up to the same, and I had already
mastered the pictorial history of the noble
Brandons, down to the ninth century, when—you'll
hardly believe your hears, sir " (Mr. Tiddijohn
was becoming excited), "a horder come for to
sell the 'ole lot of 'em down to the Lady Halithea,
who died unmarried, of 'ooping-cough, haged
nine. Hafter this sackereligious act, nothing
prospered. A wing of the mansion was burned
clown, tenants bolted, hagents come to grief, the
dook died, and my mother gave warning, which
was took.

"She had saved a good lump of money, sir--
so, at least, I thought it then" continued Mr.
Tiddijohn, "nigh five hundred pound. My father
proposed to take charge of this sum, to add to
it the whole of his savings (which proved to be
nine-pound-seven), take the whole to America,
and invest it in the purchase of land. My mother
and I were to return, for the present, to
Simmery-axe, and jine him—my guv'nor, that is—at
a futur period.

"He promised to write, and kep' his word;
but he took ten years to do it, and then he only
mentioned that he would write again. I was,
by this time, about twenty, and thought I should
like to do something for a living, seeing it wasn't
very probable that my guv'nor, and the five
hundred pound odd, had come to any good. My
mother asked me what I should like best to be.
I made answer, ' A traveller.' You see, I had
read a many books of travel, Sindbad, Peter
Wilkins, Robinson Crusoe, ansetterer, and had
a great wish to visit foreign lands. We had a
relation in the dry goods line at Liverpool, and
when my mother wrote, telling him my wishes,
and asking his advice, he, Mr. Normicutt,
replied, ' All right. Send him to me.'

"Well, sir, I took an affecting leave of my
mother, promising to return in five year at the
outside, and to send her, in the mean time, little
tokens of my safety and remembrance—a diamond,
some purses of sequins, a hundred monkeys
or so—and off I started in high spirits for
Liverpool.

"The event did not justify my expectations.
Five minutes' conversation with Mr. Normicutt
revealed the fact that my journeyings were to
be solely in the interests of the Messrs. Sprounce
and Alkali, manufacturers of fancy soaps, and
to be limited, for the present, to the three
northern counties of my native land.

"Sir, it was a disappointment. But I resigned