myself, like a man, to the course destiny had
prepared, and for three years did my very best
to propagate the illusion that Messrs. Sprounce
and Alkali's soaps were better than anybody
else's, notwithstanding that that spirited firm
were content to supply them at one-third the
usual cost. Such extraordinary success attended
my representations, that I was at length taken
into partnership, and was doing very fairly, when
my mother received a second communication
from America.

"It was written by a lawyer in Memphis,
and informed us that my father was dead. He
died, sir, from over-excitement, occasioned by
an extraordinary stroke of good fortune. He
had, it seemed, invested his money in the
purchase of a piece of land, near which a town of
considerable size was intended to be built. The
site proved unhealthy. The town went elsewhere,
and my father's property sank to zero.
Unwilling to report this result to us, he had
managed to support himself in various ways,
until some remarkable discoveries in the land
immediately adjoining his own, induced him to
attempt similar researches. The result may be
told in three short words. But, sir, they are
significant. He struck oil. When informed by
the agent that he was realising one thousand
pounds a day, he fainted, and when, after a
short but severe illness, he awoke to the
consciousness that one hundred and twenty
thousand pounds had been offered for the produce of
his land, he merely ejackerlated, ' Take it,' and
expired."

Mr. Tiddijohn was silent for a moment; then,
after a glance at his wife, resumed:

"I was a rich man now, sir, but I cannot say
that I was a happier one. I could now travel, if
I liked, in reality, and I did. I embarked on the
salt seas, and sailed, sir, for Bullone. The voyage
occupied two hours and a half. Were there
any overland route to England, I should
certainly prefer it. After some time, I
endeavoured to induce my mother to jine me; but
she wrote that she was wedded to Simmery-axe,
and also to the curate of a chapel there,
who had about nineteen children, and wanted
a motherly woman to take the place of his
deceased partner.

"Left alone in the world, I returned to
England, and took a handsome lodging at the
West-end. What shall I do next? I asked.

' ' Marry,' said my mother, who was nursing
her fourteenth step-child, 'and surround yourself
with such cherubs as these.' (Her eldest
'cherub' was six-and-twenty.)

"I had no objection to marry; and, indeed,
had a secret suspicion that that was what I
wanted. ' Man, the 'ermit,' you are aware, sir,
pined, till woman smiled. But it was not so
easy to find my mate. Whether a childhood
passed among the noble Brandons had elevated
my taste, or whether I had gleaned a little bit
of romance from my books, I cannot say, but
I felt that not one of the young ladies I had
hitherto known could fill the aching void in this
buzzom. Coarse, sir, coarse. Sometimes showy,
but coarse in grain.

"My great amusement was to stroll in the
Park with my friend Jack Prosser (for, though
I was a swell now, I did not cut my old mates
of the commercial room), and speculate upon
which of the beautiful delicate young creatures
that flew past us, sitting, lightly as snow-flakes,
upon their graceful steeds, and rosy with exercise
and mirth, should be my choice, provided I
could get her! But these were all dreams. I
had, at that time, sir, no position in society,
except that of lolling over the rails in company
with the Earl of Griflinhoof, or my Lord Viscount
Fizgig, whom I didn't know.

"It was of little use that Prosser reminded
me of my wealth.

"' There's you,' said my friend, kindly, ' with
your five thousand a year, that could buy up half
the nobs and swells (if their debts was paid)
that's prancing about here; and you're in the
dumps because you can't catch a countess at
once!'

"' I don't particularly want a countess,' says
I, ' for that wouldn't make me a count; and I
shouldn't like to have to call my wife my lady.
All I ask, Prosser, is a lovely, sweet, angelic—
Hush—look here!'

"There passed us, at this moment, a gentleman
and lady on horseback. The gentleman
had large grizzled moustaches, and a proud
fierce look, though, at the time they came
by, he was laughing at something his companion
had said. The lady was nearest to us—so near,
that I could have touched the amethyst top of
her delicate riding-whip. She turned her face
full towards me for a second; but that was
enough. The next thing I was conscious of was
a pull at my sleeve. Prosser was hailing me as
if I had been five hundred yards off.

"'I say! Hoy! Tiddijohn! What's the
matter now? Halloa!'

"I rubbed my eyes, as if waking.

"' Jack,' I gasped, ' did you see that? Was
it human?'

"'Human! What d'ye mean?' said Jack.
'I say, old fellow, collect yourself; they're a
starin' at us.'

"' I am collected—all of a heap,' I said,
faintly attempting a joke. ' But, Jack—that girl
—she shot me!'

"' Shot you?' ejaculated Prosser.

"' I felt it pass through me,' I replied (and so
I had)—'in at my eyes, through my heart, out
at my toes.'

"' It's well it's gone,' said Jack, gruffly.

"' But I feel it still. Jack, if that's love, I'm
taken sudden, and fatally.'

"' I hope not,' says Jack. ' That would be
a bad job, that would, for you've no chance
there:

"'Eh? What? You know her?'

"' Very well,' said Jack. ' Our people supplies
her with lace. She has just chosen a—'