Village; but such an institution as Yew, and
Yewer young ladies, and Yewer fixin's solid
and liquid, afore the glorious Tarnal I never did
see yet! And if I hain't found the eighth
wonder of monarchical Creation, in finding
Yew, and Yewer young ladies, and Yewer fixin's
solid and liquid, all as aforesaid, established
in a country where the people air not absolute
Loo-naticks, I am Extra Double Darned wilh
a Nip and Frizzle to the innermostest grit!
Wheerfur—-T heer!—- I la'af! I Dew, ma'arm.
I la'af!" And so he went, stamping and
shaking his sides along the platform all the way
to his own compartment.

I think it was her standing up agin the
Foreigner, as giv' Our Missis the idea of going
over to France, and droring a comparison
betwixt Refreshmenting as followed among the
frog-eaters, and Refreshmenting as triumphant
in the Isle of the Brave and Land of the Free
(by which of course I mean to say agin,
Briitannia). Our young ladies, Miss Whiff, Miss
Piff, and Mrs. Sniff, was unanimous opposed to
her going; for, as they says to Our Missis one and
all, it is well In-known to the hends of the herth
as no other nation except Britain has a idea
of anythink, but above all of business. "Why
then should you tire yourself to prove what is
already proved? Our Missis however (being
a teazer at all pints) stood out grim obstinate,
and got a return pass by South-Eastern Tidal,
to go right through, if .such should be her
dispositionsto Marseilles.

Sniff is husband to Mrs. Sniff, and is a regular
insignificant cove. He looks arter the sawdust
department in a back room, and is sometimes
when we are very hard put to it let in behind
the counter with a corkscrew; but never when
it can be helped, his demeanour towards the
public being disgusting servile. How Mrs. Sniff
ever come so far to lower herself as to marry
him, I don't know; but I suppose he does, and
I should think he wished he didn't, for he leads
a awful life. Mrs. Sniff couldn't be much harder
with him if he was public. Similarly, Miss Whiff
and Miss Piff, taking the tone of Mrs. Sniff,
they shoulder Sniff about when he is let in
with a corkscrew, and they whisk things out
of his hands when in his servility he is a going
to let the public have 'em, and they snap him
up when in the crawling baseness of his spirit
he is a going to answer a public question, and
they drore more tears into his eyes than ever the
mustard does which he all day long lays on to the
sawdust. (But it ain't strong.) Once, when Sniff
had the repulsiveness to reach across to get the
milk-pot to hand over for a baby, I see Our
Missis in her rage catch him by both his shoulders
and spin him out into the Bandolining
Room.

But Mrs. Sniff. How different! She's the
one! She's the one as you'll notice to be always
looking another way from you, when you look at
her. She's the one with the small waist buckled
in tight in front, and with the lace cuffs at her
wrists, which she puts on the edge of the counter
before her, and stands a smoothing while the
public foams. This smoothing the cuffs and
looking another way while the public foam is
the last accomplishment taught to the young
ladies as come to Mugby to be finished by Our
Missis; and it's always taught by Mrs. Sniff.

When Our Missis went away upon her journey,
Mrs. Sniff was left in charge. She did hold the
public in cheek most beautiful! In all my time,
I never see half so many cups of tea given without
milk to people as wanted it with, nor half
so many cups of tea with milk given to people
as wanted it without. When foaming ensued,
Mrs. Sniff would say: " Then you'd better settle
it among yourselves, and change with one
another." It was a most highly delicious lark.
I enjoyed the Refreshmenting business more
than ever, and was so glad I had took to it
when young.

Our Missis returned. It got circulated among
the young ladies, and it as if might be
penetrated to me through the crevices of the
Bandolining Room, that she had Orrors to reveal, if
revelations so contemptible could be dignfied
with the name. Agitation become awakened.
Excitement was up in the stirrups. Expectations
stood a tiptoe. At length it was put forth
that on our slackest evening in the week, and at
our slackest time of that evening betwixt trains,
Our Missis would give her views of foreign
Refreshmenting, in the Bandolining Room.

It was arranged tasteful for the purpose.
The Bandolining table and glass was hid in a
corner, a arm-chair was elevated on a packing-
case for Our Missis's ockypation, a table and a
tumbler of water (no sherry in it, thankee) was
placed beside it. Two of the pupils, the season
being autumn, and hollyhocks and daliahs being
in, ornamented the wall with three devices in
those flowers. On one might be read, "MAY
ALBION NEVER LEARN;" on another, " KEEP
THE PUBLIC DOWN;" on another, " OUR
REFRESHMENTING CHARTER." The whole had a
beautiful appearance, with which the beauty of
the sentiments corresponded.

On Our Missis's brow was wrote Severity, as
she ascended the. fatal platform. (Not that that
was anythink new.) Miss Whiff and Miss Piff
sat at her feet. Three chairs from the Waiting
Room might have been perceived by a average
eye, in front of her, on which the pupils was
accommodated.Behind them, a very close
observer might have discerned a Boy. Myself.

"Where," said Our Missis, glancing gloomily
around, "is Sniff?"

"I thought it better," answered Mrs. Sniff,
"that he should not be let to come in. He is
such an Ass."

"No doubt," assented Our Missis. " But
for that reason is it not desirable to improve
his mind?"

"O! Nothing will ever improve him"
said Mrs. Sniff.

"However," pursued Our Missis, "call him
in, Ezekiel."

I called him in. The appearance of the low-
minded cove was hailed wilh disapprobation
from all sides, on account of his having brought
his corkscrew with him. He pleaded "the
force of habit.''