events, such was the result ; for on entering
the professor's saloon, I was literally dazzled
with the blaze of magnificence which suddenly
burst upon me. If Rembrandt reigned in
murky dignity in the dining-room, here
Rubens, or some extremely florid artist who
did duty for him, covered the walls in a style
that was truly regal. There was one well-filled
canvas—it faced me on entering the
saloon—which, at the first glance, I
unhesitatingly ascribed to the great Fleming, on
account of the many solid, yet undressed,
beauties it developed ; but I had occasion to
alter this opinion when I became better
acquainted with the professor's features, and
detected so strong a resemblance to himself
in the half-dozen rolling cherubs that
were, with difficulty, sustaining a very stout
Madonna in her ascent to the realms of bliss.
But, indeed, it needed no physiognomical skill
on my part to make the discovery, for Herr
Leichdornschläger himself informed me, when
he saw my eyes fixed upon the picture, that
the subject was the Apotheosis of the Professorian,
his wife, though the event was, at the
least, forestalled, since he added, on seeing me
look grave, that she and her children were
all alive and well (it would not have been
out of keeping with the picture if he had said
kicking), at that moment, at Leipsic.

But besides Rubens, or his substitute, there
was more first-rate talent from Wardle Street.
Cuyp with cattle, Berghem with beeches,
Hobbema as green as grass, Breughal as
bright as flame, and in every single instance
the frames of these pictures were worth, I
should say, five pounds a-piece. Think of
the enormous value, then, of the entire
collection ! It is well for us that we have
a National Gallery ; but when we want
another I recommend an early application
to Professor Leichdornschläger. The
wealth of this apartment, however, did not
consist in pictures only. There were full-
length looking-glasses which were quite as
costly ; or-molu clocks of the present time,
that completely took the shine out of those
of the Louis Quinze period ; artificial flowers
under glass cases, orange lilies, dahlias, and
the like, which left nature very far behind ;
sofas and fauteuils of crimson velvet, consoles,
guéridons, porcelain—everything, in short,
that could attest the lucrative nature of the
professor's calling ; and in the middle of the
room was a circular table, covered with what
seemed to be the tabard of Garter-king-at-
arms, on which reposed, beside a burnished
inkstand, a thick folio superbly bound in
purple velvet and garnished with clasps and
corners like one of the Guinea Bibles that
one sees the portraits of in omnibuses.

I have called myself Thompson, and, such
being my name, any one may readily imagine
the state of mind I must have been in when
this real blaze of triumph—as they say in the
playbills—flashed upon my astonished vision.
It was so overwhelming that, in the first
instance, it quite eclipsed the distinguished
professor—a little, tight-made man, and,
physically speaking, easily eclipsed. He it was
who, to a certain extent, recalled me to
myself, though my eye still travelled round the
saloon, and my thoughts still wandered.

"What," he said, "was he to have the
pleasure of knowing about my business ?"

It may appear very ridiculous, but, as my
desire is to state facts, I must accept the
ridicule that attaches to my conduct : I could
not tell him what I wanted—not, at least, in
direct terms. Before me was the mighty
book, half filled, I could perceive, with the
imperial, royal, noble, and episcopal
autographs of individuals whose incomes—to say
nothing of their personal dignity—ranged
(like silks and shawls in shop-windows) from
ten thousand a-year upwards. Every object
in the room was, no doubt, a testimonial
from some long-suffering ambassador, some
heretofore-hobbling marquis, some tender-
toed prelate. And in the midst of this army
of illustrious martyrs I, Thompson, had
ventured to intrude ; I who, work as hard as
I will, can't make a guinea a-day, and yet
am charged with double income-tax. It
had never struck me till that moment how
much I might be called upon to pay for
the relief I sought. It was necessary, however,
that I should reply to the professor's
question.

"I wished to know," I returned, with
considerable hesitation, and a strong sense of
shame, ''what—that is to say—how—at
least—what—are your terms for—for
looking at my—that is to say—extracting
corns ?"

The professor gave a quick glance at my
feet, and answered as quickly :

"I cannot tell till I see dem ; till I know
how many dere was. You must show me dem,
dat I examine deir badness. It is not
possible to conceive in boots."

"If," said I to myself, "I once take off my
boots, I am done—I shall be operated upon,
in spite of myself, and then comes the
reckoning !"

The professor appeared to divine my
thoughts.

"Mein Gott !" exclaimed the little professor,
in a pet, "can I see drough dick
ledder ? If your corns was on de outside of
your boots, perhaps I might tell ! It is
oddervise unmöglich—unpossible ! Komon,
komon," he continued, soothingly, "let me
see," and he rubbed his hands with a sort of
(as it seemed to me) inhuman glee, "let me
see how many corns you has ; sit down
in dis arm-chair, it will be only an affair of a
moment !"

The professor little knew what words he
made use of. They were the very same
which a dentist addressed me with, many
years ago, when I was troubled, like lago,
with "a raging tooth." He only promised to
look, but the forceps were on the fang before