and thirty-eight about to sign a deed,
releasing her dower. I asked her name. Her
husband said that she used the initial A, but
that her name was Aldebarontiphoscofornia;
probablt the longest that a parent ever
inflicted on a child.—We trust it was not
a hoax inflicted on a too believing
registrar.

But, on a little farther acquaintance with
his book, we find nothing too improbable to
be implicitly swallowed when people are once
bent on calling names. They seem to have
no mercy on their helpless offspring in the
prodigious unfitness of the prefix they give
to the family designation. What right has
a father—only they have all such flinty
hearts!—of the name of Bee to christen his
innocent daughter Busy? Or if a man
rejoices in the lately ennobled name of Strutt,
is there any excuse for bespattering his son
at the font with the prenomen Valliant?
Miss Busy Bee may be not much better, to
be sure, than if she had been Miss Idle
Hussey (another unpardonable collocation of
Christian and surname); nor may Mr.
Valliant Strutt be more imposing in his walk and
conversation than Mr. Humble Pace, but it
gives rise to unpleasant remarks. What if
some demon in paternal form, of the honoured
name of Baring, had insisted on his son and
heir being named Over; or some savage Mr.
Dun had christened his child Under? It
would not have been more unfeeling, and
scarcely less absurd, than some we found in
Mr. Bowditch's collection; but he is
philosophic and forbearing, and will not found
accusations or insinuations on the sound or
sense of any man's appellation.

I have no reason to doubt that Messrs. Mellow,
Slewman, Drinker, Bibber, Brimmer, Spiller, Mead,
Beers, Bore, Goodale, Alesworth, Wines, Hockey,
Negus, Ginn, Porter, Punch, Siders, Phillpot,
Fillmore, Treat, Revill, Revell, and Rumrill are as
strictly temperate as Mr. Drinkwater, and as regular
in their habits as Mr. Clock; or that Messrs. Chew,
Cram, Fullam, Mess, Goble, and Gobble are moderate
eaters. Mr. Feaster was wounded in a late riot
at Baltimore. Mr. Dainty lives at Pittsfield. Mr.
Gobels lives at Bridgeport, Conn. The families of
Dining and Eatwell did not emigrate to this country.
Mr. Spooner seems to stand by himself between the
eaters and drinkers. Mr. Rap is not a medium, nor
is Mr. Tippin. Thomas Tipping lived in England
in eighteen hundred. Mr. Augur has a case now
pending, which his opponent doubtless feels to be
a bore. Even Mr. Soldem has brought a suit. Our
Messrs. Parson, Priest, Divine, Deacon, Creed, Church,
Pray, and Revere are-probably not more pious than
our Mr. Pagan or Mr. Turk. An English clergyman,
Rev. Arnndel Verity, falsely and fraudulently
converted to his own use funds designed for conversion of
the heathen. We have both the Bible and the Coran
in our Directory. Mr. Pastor makes casks instead of
converts, and can operate better upon hoops than upon
heathens. I find a Mr. Tenant; and we have Wirth,
the German for landlord. Mr. Charter and Mr. Cade,
I hope, alike voted for Fremont. Mr. Derrick and
Mr. Carty are labourers. Our Lind is not musical.
Mr. Fluent is probably an orator only in name.
I formerly knew a Mr. Dam. Mr. Bench, Mr. Mode,
and Mr. Bodkin, are tailors. Mr. B. Coates was a
tailor in Prince Street. Mr. Boss is a master-workman.
Our Mr. Covert puts covers on books. We have Mr.
Penn, Mr. Inker, and Mr. Standish; but our Blott
has been obliterated. Mr. Inkpen, Mr. Quill, and
Mr. Smouch, remained in England.

Mr. Solace, of Bridport, Vt., is a lawyer. Mr.
Grindall lives at Newburyport. Mr. Work, and
Messrs. Sweat, Swett, and Swetting, represent cause
and effect. Mr. Sweating (correctly spelt) lives at
Providence. Mrs. Quick and Mr. Delay offset each
other, as do Mr. Long and Mr. Short, Mr. Tank and
Messrs. Vent and Fawcett, Mrs. Standin and Mr.
Faller, Mr. Rich and Mr. Poor, Messrs. Gumming,
Came, Goeth, and Going, and Messrs. Byers and
Sellers. Messrs. Waker, Wakeum, Rouse, Rising,
and Riser have their opposites in Mr. Sleeper and Mr.
Nappen. Among English writers, there are more
than one named Wake. Mr. Bigg and Mr. Large, in
name at least, outweigh Mr. Small and Mr. Little.
England has its Wragg and Ragg. We have Raggens,
Ragon, and Patch. A Mr. Wragg was a graduate of
Harvard; and a Miss Wragg, of South Carolina,
lately married Dr. Toomer. England has Bag, and
we have Bagg and Satchwell. One Mr. Bagg lives at
Pittsfield, and another is president of a paper company.
Messrs. Wood and Rafters are partners in business, as
are also Messrs. Millet and Bean. Messrs. Knott, Twist,
and Tighe, Messrs. Lemonand Peele, Messrs. Hammer
and Tong, Messrs. Sower and Tillet, Messrs. Bell and
Ring, and Messrs. Beetle and Wedge ought to be so.
The firm of Shaves and Chisels are tool manufacturers
in Warren, Worcester County. In 1828, there was a
Sir Charles Lemon in Dublin; and there were
English authors named Ringer and Knell. Mr.
Bender is a porter. Mr. Arnold and his victim,
Mr. Andre, are still in close proximity among us.
Mr. Ferrill has a good name for a schoolmaster.
The admirable Chrichton is a living example to our
community. Our Porteous has never been mobbed.
Our Defoe will never write a new Robinson Crusoe.
Mr. Gulliver has ceased from his travels, and is at
home with us. Mrs. Grundy is a housekeeper in,
Boston. We had, in old times, a Mr. Biss: we have
now Mr. Hiss.

Mr. Bowditch gives an amusing list of
articles which may be purchased at the shops
of their namesakes:—Vial, Ewer, Pitcher,
Grater, Cann, Bason, Brush, Broom, Box,
Bowles, Biggin, Butt, Tubbs, Tank, Binns,
Hodde, Kettle, Hammer, Mallet, Lash, Twine,
Bell, Standish, Pottle, Spade, Barrows, Sickle,
and Chirne. To this he might have added,
from London experience, Lock and Ward, Last,
Cleaver, and Biskit. From the parts of a
house he furnishes us with the families of—

Hall, Kitchen, Laundry, Chamber, Chambers,
Garrits, Garrett, Garratt, Woodroofe, Room, Roome,
Story, Frame, Glass, Whall, Wall, Seling, Rafter,
Lathe, Dore, Dohr, Porch, Banister, Stayers, Friese,
Brackett, Gates, Post, Pickett, Fence, Stiles, Latchet,
and Barr. There is a deed of Mr. Sellars. Mr.
Plank lives at Cumberland, R.I. Mr. Vanear lives in
Monkton, Vt. A Mrs. Shingle was recently
murdered at the South. We have, however, Mrs. Slates
living among us; also the adjective Garretty. Mr.
Bolt lives in Kent, Conn.; Mr. Pegg, at New Haven.