being taken for " the Lady Elizabeth." While,
therefore, I once more strenuously recommend
that the Siamese attribute be adopted by the
British aristocracy; I also suggest that its
imitation by any of a lower class shall be
made penal.

OUR P's AND Q's.

WHEN the jackdaw of Rheims, in the pleasant
legend of Mr. Barham's, is discovered by
the monks to be moulting, bald, and
miserable, after the curse pronounced by their
abbot, upon whomsoever had stolen his ring,
they are said to have thus expressed their
belief in the jackdaw's guilt:

"Regardless of grammar, they all cried, That's him!"

We moderns, also, under the influence of
excitement, are too apt to give vent to our
feelings in expressions which Horne Tooke
and Lindley Murray would equally reprobate;
such as, " It's me—-just open the door; " or,
"It's them—-say we are not at home."

Mistakes in speech are of continual occurrence,
and are perpetrated in all classes of
society. Our neighbour, the barrister,
proclaims that he shall summons the fellow:
the M.P. over the way is perpetually
declaiming upon the exports and imports of
the United .Kingdom: the author in our
second-floor front, boasts of selling no less
than five thousand copies of his latest
production: and the clergyman at the chapel,
yonder, declares superfluously, every
Sunday, that he shall sink down into the pit.

Still—-before we set eyes upon a little
volume here present, whose title is, Never
Too Late to Learn—-we had no conception that
persons who have received what is supposed
to be a fair education (to whom the book is
addressed) are wont to fall into wordy snares
and pit-falls such as these: "I throwed my
box away, and never took no more snuff."

Our esteemed uncle, an officer in her
Majesty's service, of twenty years standing,
and one who has, throughout that period,
looked forward to being a field-martial, spelt
with a t and an i, used many bad expressions
when deprived, by our aunt, of his favourite
relaxation of snuff-taking; but none so bad
as this. Our mother readily admits that she
has not sung without accompaniment this
ten years, but she does not call it singing
extempore, nor does she pronounce that word
so as to rhyme with sore. This author,
however, evidently conceives that these accuracies
of my beloved relatives are very unusual, and
instances more than three hundred mistakes
of daily occurrence to prove this. A certain
school-mistress of his acquaintance, in speaking
of the minister she " sat under," and who
had incurred her displeasure, remarked, that
"He didn't ought to have his salary rose."
If such be really the school-mistress, what
then must be the pupils? and why should
we wonder at reading upon this title-page,
the twenty-eighth thousand?

241. " Rinse your mouth; pronounce rinse, as it is
written,—-never rense."

Who ever does pronounce it rense? cries
the astonished reader. Thousands of fairly
educated persons, is the reply; and even,
"Wrench your mouth," observed a fashionable
dentist once to the author of this little volume.

354. " Never say kiver for cover; afeard for afraid;
or debbuty for deputy; which are three very common
mistakes among the citizens of London."

Is this a fact or a malicious scandal?
Does the Lord Mayor talk like this? Do the
aldermen? The sheriffs? The debbuty sheriffs?
Does the recorder? Here, again:

382. " I saw him somewheres in the city; say,
somewhere. N.B. Nowheres, everywheres, and
anywheres, are also very frequent errors in London."

If this be true, then we congratulate
ourselves upon living in the country. What
dismal depths of ignorance does a little rush-
light of information, such as this, exhibit to
us!

381. "I met him quite permiscuous; say, quite
accidentally."

We should rather think so, indeed; and
yet No. 383 is, if possible, a still more
terrible warning.

"He is still a bacheldor; say, bachelor."

Why, goodness gracious! in what county,
town, or hamlet, in this distracted kingdom
are the inhabitants accustomed to confuse
unmarried persons with battledores? Hear
a few more choice examples of the
schoolmaster abroad.

385. "I called on him every day in the week,
successfully; very common (?) but very incorrect; say,
successively."

356. " I was necessitated to do it; a vile expression,
and often (?) made worse by necessiated; say,
obliged, or compelled."

These, however, are classical expressions
in comparison with:

306. " Pronounce January as it is written, and
not Jennivery; and beware of leaving out the u
in February, or of calling the word Febbiverry."

Conceive a lover's horror at hearing from
the lips of the most charming of her sex,
when asked to name the nuptial month, such
a word as Febbivery!

Three ungrammatlcal expressions (it
appears) are almost universal in trade, business,
and in the scholastic profession:

340. " Equal to bespoke, instead of equal to
bespoken."

365. " Received of Mr. Brown ten pounds, instead
of from."

And 185. "Bills are requested to be paid
quarterly; instead of, it is requested that bills be paid
quarterly."

We trust that bootmakers, merchants, and
schoolmasters, committing this error, do not